Challenge
by Bittersweet Romanticide
Summary: A short series of oneshots based on the challenges found in SilverUmbra's profile and, apparently, the suggestions of my reviewers . Pokemon pairings. COMPLETED
1. Arceus x Giratina

Well, writer's block and a fantastic fanfiction and challenge by SilverUmbra has brought this on. Thank you, SilverUmbra, for this challenge and some good reads!

By the way, this is my first Legendary fic, so I'd love some advice on how to make it better. Really, if you review, tell me what you liked, what you hated, anything! But, if it is something you hated, I'd love you to tell me how to make it better!

**Pairing: Arceus and Giratina

* * *

**

**Arceus' Lament**

It got lonely, sometimes.

How could it not? Being a god is a lonely task. Nothing but thank you's and worship and pleads for me. Not that I mind those things, the thank you's are especially nice. I am a tad vain.

It's just…I feel so unfulfilled. I've created so much, given power to so many, yet I seem to feel empty inside.

The times I have seen this is countless humans and pokémon, it's because they lack love.

But I am a god.

I lack nothing of the sort. I get nothing but love from the world, no matter what name they call me.

As for a mate?

I need no mate.

Even if it does get lonely.

Yet, there is one who seems to be having the same problem as me. One who I could share with. It's not my place to talk to him, really. Giratina isn't exactly someone a god of my status should talk to. Not because, of course, that our powers are rivaled only by each other, or that he is as dark as I am light. It is that ever since the beginning, and supposedly until the end, it simply isn't done. That's what the universe commands.

Yet the universe seemed to lead me right into his path that stormy night above the clouds. As to why, I'm sure I have no idea. The universe is strange a thing.

"You're Giratina," I said slowly, eyeing the strange creature before me. He certainly did not look like the other Legendaries I had created. He was not majestic, as Lugia. He was not graceful, as Suicune. He was not elegant, as Cresselia. In fact, I would say he was rather ugly. What with spikes of red and his black, silver and yellow body. He appeared to be an overgrown beetle a child had painted by number.

"You're Arceus," He said, his voice much deeper than mine.

It was at this moment I realized I was female, and he was male. I had a gender, like the other pokémon did. I was half of a whole. I could bear offspring, but not on my own. If I ever wanted to have children. I would need someone else. Someone male.

I had never needed anyone before.

"Why are you here?"

He would not look at me, but kept his eyes to the wreckage below; the sea was tossing a ship, a big ship to the point where many of the men had begun to pray. I could not save them from the weather. When it was their time, it was their time. I did not wish it to be so, but it was.

"I'm making the storms," He said quietly.

I blinked. "There are people there."

"Yes."

"You could kill them."

"I _am _killing them," He accented.

"I don't understand. Shouldn't you being doing your job, like the other pokémon? I know your job is not to create storms. I created someone else for that," I said, proud of myself. This creature might've been strange and rude, but I still knew more than him. I was still a god, and he was not. I did not need him.

"My job is not to create storms," He growled, another wave crashing down on the boat. The men's screams were starting to get to me. I wished I could save them, but rules are rules, and this was their fate. "My job is to take those who's time has come, and lead them down to where I rule."

"You rule?" I asked, feeling my face wrinkle up tightly in confusion. "But I rule everything, in this dimension and all others. I am God. My job has been explained to me by the universe. What right do you have to say that _you_ rule?" A strange feeling began to rise in me, making my teeth bare, a strange growling noise rise into my throat, and every muscle tense and heat. I wanted to hurt him, bite him.

But I was not supposed to hurt him, and gods do not bite.

"My job," He continued, his voice strained with patience, "is also explained to me by the universe. You rule in all dimensions and in a place for the dead known as heaven. I rule in a place for the dead known as hell."

"Hell?" I asked, never feeling so confused in my life.

"You get the good souls. I take the bad souls," He explained quietly, finally looking at me. I tried not to stumble at his eyes, glowing red through the darkness. They were so…not angry. No rage was held in the gaze, but hurt. It made no sense. How could a creature with so much power, to dictate the lives and deaths of the world, ever feel hurt or sadness? How could a creature with so much strength have eyes that empty?

"You look like the rest of them," He said finally. You're beautiful. No wonder they all scream for you when I come for them." He turned his face down to the sea. "If you'll excuse me, Arceus, my bitter rival. I've some men to take to my special place, and a few more to sway to my side."

Then, with a strange, lumbering gait, he crawled forward to the edge of the cloud, and leaned towards the earth until gravity carried him over.

I was frightened, just for a moment, that the pokémon had just decided to kill himself. My vain self thought that, perhaps, the goodness and greatness and power of my presence had taken the strange thing's last straw and wrecked his mind from the inside out, but no. He began to float a second later with the hovering pattern of a ghost type, before rocketing forward with the power of a charizard fresh released from a pokeball.

I trotted to the edge of the cloud, watching him do his job with my head cocked to the side.

I had learned many things that day, things I could've gone my whole existence not knowing, yet somehow I'm glad I did. Somehow I was glad that I had met this strange being, with eyes of red and strange, strange wings. Wings like nothing I'd ever seen. Not like Charizard's wings nor pidgey's wings nor angel's…

Angel wings.

Yes, I finally understood now. I understood everything that had happened to me. I was clear to me what he was! All this time of wondering what Legendary would appear this way, what creature with such power would hide form the world, from me, the Good, the Creator, the Lover. The answer was right in front of me, in fact, stuck to his back and flapping like glaring neon signs the human used to light their cities at night.

He was an angel.

A _fallen _angel.

Still, he was an angel nevertheless.

And I had never been more enthralled to something more strange than Giratina.

He was dark and I was light.

Two halves of a whole.

And perhaps, it wouldn't get so lonely anymore.

* * *

And that was my attempt. That really cleared up some writer's block.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I gave this a shot, now how about you?  
Are you up for the challenge?


	2. Palkia x Dialga

**Pairing: Palkia/Dialga

* * *

**

It cracked.

Oh, shit, it cracked.

And it's _my _fault.

How the hell am I going to live with that?

I hurt him.

I hate hurting him.

Palkia, ruler of space. I don't think I was ever supposed to meet him. It's not like I _haven't _bumped into him every once in a while. It's kinda hard not to. The universe isn't as big as you'd think. Stupid humans, think they know everything. They think they know why we're fighting. They think that everything boil down to prophecies and folklore and the idea that Legendaries are just that. Legendaries. Those stupid humans barely believe we're real.

But we _are _real.

Our _feelings _are real. (But feelings are weird)

Our thoughts are real. (But all the others say I don't think, so I guess that one doesn't really count)

Damn, how come they won't believe that?

I guess it must be hard now, 'cuz we're attacking each other and all. The world's dissolving around us. It must be hard for them to ever imagine us as anything more than bitter rivals. So? We had a fight. Couples fight. Lovers fight. Well, we're not a couple exactly, but I think I want to be.

No one seems to wonder why time isn't being warped. You would figure that would be the first thing they'd notice. But, I guess humans tend to notice the bad things rather than the good things. Bad thing: They notice that their world is dissolving under their feet. Good thing: They aren't in the prehistoric era with the dinosaurs or in the future with the…well, they can't exactly know what's in the future yet. But it's nasty.

Oh, and they think the fact that their clocks are going haywire is my fault.

_No. _The clocks are _his _fault. Clocks are machines. They don't _really _know the time. They're _matter. _They're _touchable. _If _I _was screwing up, you'd all be either children or old people right now. Be happy. I could age you all to death if I was angry.

I am sad though.

I hurt him.

Oh, Arceus, _why _did I hurt him?

He's never going to forgive me for ruining his pearl!

Holy crap, I think I'm going to cry. I've never cried before!

I'm going to cry…

…Never mind, it was just a sneeze.

But still! I feel horrible!

Ow.

That hurt.

That _hurt!_

Oh, forget loving that son of a gun (cuz I'm pretty sure I love him)! I'm going to kill the jerk!

**

* * *

**

Okay. The fight ended. That's good. That's _very _good. I better make a mental note to thank Darkrai…later…when I'm not busy with Palkia.

I'll be fine. I just need to breathe. Okay, I don't _need _to breathe, technically, but I can if I want to. Breathing is supposed to be soothing. It gets your mind off whatever stress you're currently facing. Anything from destroying the world to screwing with time to being _on _time (which is harder than you'd think, even if you can control time) or even talking to that beautiful, wonderful creature who's looking at you and…

Ooh, he looks awfully pissed.

Wonder why?

Oh, he's awfully pissed at _me._

Well, it wasn't on purpose!

Huh. Well, even if he doesn't, I think it matters whether or not I meant it. I mean, I mean it when I call him a big jerky insensitive irrational jerky jerk creature.

He's looking even more pissed now. It can't be…

Ouch, turns out it _is _me he's still pissed at.

Whodathunk?

I tell him that I really _do _want to make him feel better and not be so mad at me.

So, how do I do it?

I'm sorry?

Holy…that worked?

Well then! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, sorry!

He's grinning.

Now he's laughing.

So I laugh too.

Then I'm not laughing, because he asked a very, very scary question. I don't want to answer what he asked me. It makes me feel funny. Not funny like laughing, funny like weird. My stomach is all tingly and my head's all fuzzy and I think I might throw up. Ugh, I really think I might. I feel really, really bad. Is this what love feels like? Darkrai says that's how he feels around Cresselia and that's what humans feel all the time.

Oh, I burped.

I feel a little better, but I still don't feel so good.

So he asks me again.

I look at the dirt and shift uncomfortably.

Why did I want to apologize so bad?

Well, I guess it's because I feel sad when he's angry. I want him to be happy. I want him to be happy all the time. (I giggled at my own pun. Time.) When he's happy, I'm happy. In fact, I'm happiest as I've ever been whenever he's happy.

He asked me how I'm happy.

I told him how I get all tingly.

He asked me if I liked him.

I said of course he did.

Then he asked if I _liked _him.

And I blushed.

It was pretty embarrassing. I got mad for blushing and I started saying words that Arceus always says I shouldn't but I do anyway because I always love hearing how different humans and pokémon over the times yell about how angry they are.

Then he wrapped his paws around me in a hug.

My anger cooled fast.

I guess I really liked what happened.

See, I was really, really, _really _happy.

Then I fainted.

But I wasn't so angry anymore.

So, whenever I get really angry, all because of that day, he hugs me.

So I get angry a lot nowadays.

It's worth it, for one of his extra special hugs.

It makes me all tingly and bubbly and happy and…

Sorry again.

It was another sneeze.


	3. You x Partner

**Holy cow, I've been busy! I'm so sorry I took so long to update, everyone who reads this. Heh, I've had two other stories to finish (one I'm still working on) and SO much homework because it's the end of the year. Well, here you are!**

**Pairing: You and your partner from Mystery Dungeon**

* * *

Oh, dear, sweet Arceus stop embarrassing yourself you fricken moron. Stop talking! Good job and…there you go again. Nice. She's going to fall head over heels in love with you, you fast talking little nerd you. Stop being such a talkative spaz! You've already _told _her this! She doesn't need to know everything that's running throw your head.

What's going on? Are you in some weird video game and some half brained kid keeps accidentally hit A for repeat instead of B?

Oh, good, you stopped. Attaboy, Chris. You shut yourself up! She's just sort of staring at you now. Arceus, she _is _pretty. Look at the eyes on her! Wow, so brown they _should _be dull but for some strange reason they seem to sparkle…with mild interest and terror that she's either crazy or trapped in a different body. Mew, you better hope she's crazy because only a crazy thing would go out with a twitchy Pikachu like you.

Oh, look Idiot! 'Idiot' is capitalized because it's your name now, a proper noun. She said something to you. Did you hear it? No, of course not? Noron. Ask her to say it again and _attempt _to be charming? Please. You're killing us here.

"Hyuh-wha?"

You respond to pressure so well, Christ. Fantastic job. I'm so proud of you. Now, for the million dollar question: Can you say "I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" If you can say that, good buddy, you're set. You are _completely _ready to go and charm your way out of this mess. Maybe you'll get a girl! Probably not, you're not cute enough for that…

"I said thanks. This is really weird for me, Chris, and you've been great. You're _really _nice. I mean, how many people, er, pokémon, would show me around town," She laughed, and a chorus of angels began to sing. "Although twice was a bit much. But you _are _the only one who took the time out to help. Thank you."

"Yeah, heh, sorry for showing you around twice, uh, I get eager. You were the first eevee around here in…in well, forever. You probably won't be able to evolve though. We don't have any stones around, no humans to boost your friendship level with them either. Too bad, right? If only we were in a different region!"

You don't _really _want her to evolve and change and hate you, do you? Some pokémon change radically. Some pokemon practically become someone else and you're terrified she'll evolve and be too good for you. That's stupid. She happens to be too good for you know. Coward! Man up! Talk like you've got a pair!

"We've got flowers though! I could make you a crown all knotted together if you want. It's pretty difficult to do stuff like that because, well, I've got paws, not hands. It's going to be hard for you too, having paws instead of hands, but you'll get used to it. Hey! I could even knit a scarf for you or something!"

Manly. _Real _manly, Chris. Why don't you invite her to a tea party next? I've heard that women love a man who can throw a tea party. That drives 'em wild. Chris, flowers and scarves? Buddy, what _were _you thinking? Better brace yourself for the 'you're creepy, no good mate, our babies would be weak don't speak to me' speech.

She giggled. "You're so cute! I'd love to go play with flowers. That'd be amazing to see how you could braid them all together like that! Just the kind of fun thing to get me used to this place. After that we can get down to some kind of work." She shook her brown head and tapped her nose gently to yours. "Is that like a hug here?"

Now's your chance to tell her! Sure, she'll freak out, but you'll finally have some leverage! What are you waiting for? Speak! Speak, dang it! Oh, great time to forget to use words. So what? It's a lot like a human kiss. Granted, no girl has ever done that to you before but, you know, whatever. You're cool. You can do this. Just suavely tell her what she did. Oh, Mew, listen to that breath. Your voice is going to squeak.

And it did squeak. Horribly. A voice had never cracked so bad in all the time through all the world. "Actually, I wouldn't do that with other pokémon. It's…it's kinda more like a kiss than a hug. A romantic kiss."

She blinked. "Oh, well…that's awkward! I'm sorry. You're probably disturbed now and…listen, I'm sorry. You know what? I'm just not going to embarrass myself anymore! Yup! I'm through with embarrassment! I'll see you tomorrow! We can go pick up a mission or, uh, something." She flashed another smile, then ran back inside her house, looking over her shoulder once or twice.

Nice going, nerdboy. You just lost the girl of your dreams. You scare her off, acted like a total spaz, and all around proved what an idiot you truly are. She probably won't talk to you again. The girls never do. This one might have been just crazy enough to stick around with you, but what happened? You chased her off with your crazy spazziness! What are you going to do now? You've got to win her back!

"Stupid…I can't do anything with girls! All I can ever do is ramble about being a pokémon and ramble about being on a team and ramble, ramble, ramble!" You cry, stomping around on all fours. "Not just that, but you've been walking on two paws all day, just to make her feel more human! You wimp! Why don't you toughen up!"

There was a sigh. "Because I'm not tough. I'm a big, stupid loser. I screwed up. Today was such a total disaster!"

Oh, buck up, buddy. Don't be so hard on yourself.

At least there's always tomorrow.


	4. Latias x Latios

Well…more themes

**Pairing: Latios x Latias**

* * *

Arceus was the first of all,  
We're the last to be made.  
Based off of other creatures;  
Celebi of the glade.

A dash of Mew's psychic powers,  
Drakrais' strange way to fly,  
A little human DNA,  
That's what's in you and I.

You have to find it funny,  
That humans think that we're so grand.  
When really we're no different,  
Than pokémon or man.

The first one who had to go,  
The one of us that we called Dad,  
Though he was of no blood relation  
His departure made us sad.

But time went on, and though we quarreled,  
Our bond just grew stronger.  
Then you got too close to humans  
And time seemed to grow longer.

Then you could take on human form!  
My heart still trembles at the though.  
All the times I'd kept you safe,  
The battles would be for naught.

I was terrified of the cruel creatures,  
Taking pokémon for capture,  
Enslaving them and forcing them to battle,  
Far from their lives of rapture.

Then worse, they seemed to like it!  
And you were falling for it too.  
Then on day you brought the girl home.  
And I was lost on what to do.

Time passed slower,  
You began to bond,  
I made sure to keep my distance.  
I knew where I belonged.

But from what I can tell, you did not know.  
You brought me to your games.  
Baseball, swings, hide and seek,  
Some strange one called 'charade'.

Then I came of my own accord.  
I was glad to be with you.  
Not after all too long,  
I liked Bianca too.

I'd never had so much fun before!  
Now I know why you went.  
Time with humans, though strictly cautioned,  
Was always time well spent.

And as creatures half of glory,  
I supposed I should've guessed.  
Most of them seemed to be good,  
By their integrity I was impressed.

But they were also half of chaos,  
That wasn't hard to see.  
So, though I loved Bianca,  
The other's frightened me.

A few months before  
The true events undold,  
I was struck with horror  
At the story that you told.

"Latios, you just can't guess!  
Something strange happened today!  
Don't freak out though, big brother love,  
I'm really all okay!"

"You start a story out like that  
And expect me not to panic?  
Latias, you crazy girl,  
Only you could be that manic!

"Yeah, Big brother,  
I kinda guessed you'd freak.  
But this is absolutely not as bad  
As what I did last week."

"What did you do this time?"  
I ask through gritted teeth.  
She gives me her puppy eyes.  
That make my resolve go weak.

But not this time, I bark too coldly,  
"Tell me what is going on.  
I should have know not to leave you lonely.  
You're such a ticking time bomb."

"But I'm not a ticking time bomb,"  
She informs me with a smile.  
I glare and she gets comfy.  
This story might take a while.

"Okay, I'm telling you the story.  
But you better not be too mad.  
'Cuz I've though and thought it over,  
And it's really not that bad.

"I was up behind the ice cream shop,  
You really ought to know it.  
They've got ice cream so rich and thick,  
Comes out the machine so slow it-"

She stops herself,  
Her cheeks bright red.  
Starts the story,  
Shakes her head.

"Well, yeah, so, that's the place.  
Best ice cream in town.  
So, of course, I had to pass the place.  
And when I do I have to slow down.

"There they were, the tow of them.  
Chatting on their phone.  
I know it's rude to eavesdrop  
But I couldn't let alone…

"I came up real quiet,  
They didn't hear a thing.  
I could hear them just fine though.  
I listened to the other phone rin."

"The other phone?" I asked blankly.  
She snorted than she giggled.  
She always did why I was dumb,  
But under glare she wiggled.

"On the end of the line,  
I heard that man speak!  
He had talked about us."  
I felt my legs go weak.

"About us, or just the Legendaries?  
And not just in folktale?"  
"They're coming for us!" She shrieked and whined.  
Then began to wail.

"Let them come! Let it happen!  
I know we can't be caught!  
If they don't think twice, well, we'll show them!  
They'll give us a second thought!"

"But what if we can't handle them?"  
She asked, her voice so low.  
"What if you're not strong enough?  
What if I'm to slow?"

"Hey, who's the worry water 'round here?  
Last time I checked, not you.  
So, about that other thing you did.  
What, exactly, did you do?"

"I, er, tipped over a racer.  
He made an awesome splash!  
How can I make it better, Latios?  
I made the poor boy crash!"

"Did he get right back up?" I asked, all soothing.  
She said yes, but whined, "He's ten!"  
"I'm sure the little monster's fine.  
Just find the boy some yen."

"Great, how much do I steal?"  
She enjoy herself too much.  
"You never steal, you only find.  
Pick it up from the ground and such."

"And taking money from our statues,"  
She beams at her right answer.  
"Or I could take on a human form  
And get money as a street dancer!"

"No," I scold.  
I've heard this all before.  
She huffs at me and with defiance,  
Human feet tap on the floor.

"Goodbye, Lat, I'll be heading out!  
I've got lots of things to do!  
Gotta earn lots of yen!  
So I'll be seeing you!"

And off she went, just like always,  
But this time I did not protest.  
Whenever it did come to morals,  
Latias always knows best.

But then, and I'm sure,  
This was just to bother me.  
She brought an _ugly human __boy_  
To our special tree!

And though I really tried to argue,  
About him, the boy had a way.  
Just like my red and white partner,  
We were friends within the day.

And after that, thing just got worse.  
Bad things just kept happening.  
And those two witches with their plan…  
It's was simply maddening.

And the…there was a sacrifice.  
Forever we did part.  
Knowing I'll not see you again…  
It makes me faint of heart.

So remember, my dear Latias,  
Though it is forbidden,  
I've always been in love with you,  
Even though it's hidden.


	5. Cresselia x Darkrai

Title: Don't Believe What You See

**Pairing: Cresselia/Darkrai**

I felt nauseous. Beyond nauseous. I guess it as because I was about to talk to him and he looks rather pissed. Then again, he _always _looks rather pissed and now he looks _very _pissed. Of course, I was elected out of every _damn_ Legendary to go and talk to him. They are just doing this for the laughter. We have never gotten along and they want it to blow up in my face, like every time we talk. It is not my fault it is so damned easy to argue with him. He offers it up to me on a silver platter.

Our biggest dispute? Well, what we most often argue about would have to be whether or not what he has covering is legs is a skirt or a kilt or just a normal part of his lovely anatomy. I say it is a skirt, he is not easy to convince of this fact, however, so I suppose I will tell you of our real dispute. That dispute is my pride, not my pride on everything, but my appearance. I am pretty, I know it, and that seems to get on his nerves. I think it is because he is such an ugly creature himself. He _is _truly an ugly creature, though he speaks eloquently. I can barely stand to look at him. He should know this, so of course I tell him so. He could not go through his entire life thinking he was beautiful, could he? No. You have to tell creatures their strength and weaknesses. True, I never say he strengths, but I am sure he can figure those out for himself.

But, that did not come up until later. At the moment, I was scoping out the moonlit garden for romantic, sappy, human couples, annoying children, and other human monstrosities that are not too sure we exist. I hated those monsters. They made everything more difficult and Darkrai had _revealed _himself to the masses, just to make my life more complicated. We are not supposed to reveal ourselves, or, at least, try not to overly reveal ourselves. It is much better for most to think us legend so millions do not come and hunt us down. Would _you _like to be hunted twenty four seven? Of course you would not!

"Darkrai? Come out, come out wherever you are. I'm sick of hide and seek!" I called, muttering a few choice words under my breath. "Listen, Darkrai, do you really want to be annoyed all night and day? I will come back again and again if I have to. Do not think for a second that I will leave just because you will not move your ugly face out of the shadows! Let us stop wasting time before humans show up! The last thing I want is to be around those meddling, sick creatures."

A second later, a voice emerged from the trees: "A pleasure to see you as well, Cresselia. A little cranky to be disturbed from your mirror. Damn those Legendaries for making you do something. The fairest should never have to lift a finger." Then he was beside me, the two of us cloaked in shadow while the wind rustled grass and trees all around. The pokémon were hiding, as they often did when something strong was around.

"This is _not _about me and my faults! This is about you revealing yourself to the monsters! I can't believe you brought yourself out of hiding! It's not that important in the world makes it. We can create another one! There's a huge difference between Dialga and Palkia fighting, something that's been prophesized anyway, and you stepping in when you do and _don't _have to. You're supposed to be forever hidden! You, good sir, are not anywhere near the level of D and P!" I scolded.

He sighed, floating in silence for a minute. He always liked to think, too much if you asked me. He never did anything but sit there and muse on what to say next, always 'choosing his words'. "I've been out of hiding for ages now. I'm constantly talking to people. No one's given it a second thought before. Are you sure that's the reason they called you down? Perhaps they were hoping I'd give you a dash of humility."

I simmered for a moment, something that could have been considered a hesitation because I could not think of a comeback, but certainly was not, before snarling, "And they were hoping to give you a dash of charm, since my good looks obviously cannot rub off on you. Arceus must have been furious when she made you. Your cutting remarks are no way to treat a lady! Especially not so when she is quite a bit lovelier than you."

"I suppose," He said nonchalantly. My temper flared with a slight touch of embarrassment. "I'm just surprised you actually came. Arceus herself must've brought the hammer down on you. Nothing short of that could move her royal highness form her pretty thrown. How _is _the thrown, by the way?"

"Would you quite that? I'm nowhere near as vain as you're making me out to be. I do other things besides gawk at my reflection. If you weren't so ugly, I'm sure you'd spend much more time looking the mirror too."

"It always comes back to looks with you," He scolded, shaking his head. "I happened to be speaking of your personality. You see, us ugly people can't stare at one another all day, so we came up with other forms of entertainment. One of our favorites is talking. Sometimes we like what people say, something we don't, and the we call what they say and do their 'personality'. Yours happens to be that of a spoiled princess."

I wanted, badly, to retort to that, but all I could think of was a sassy comeback on how ugly his face was and the fact the he was, technically, in a skirt. "What do you mean, that I'm a spoiled princess? I know I'm a little self conscious but-"

"You don't tolerate anothing that isn't lovely or perfect or as strong as you. You're spoiled in your pretty place with your pretty face and pretty creatures around you and never having a single touch of misfortune. You ought to accept ruled get broken, people get hurt, but life foes on." He grinned at me. "Accept that I'm ugly on the outside and look at who I am on the inside."

"What if you're ugly on the inside?" I blurted. I flushed and tried again. "I mean, what if I hate you anyway? Doesn't that mean I'm just a spoiled princess all the way through? I don't want to find out if…if there really isn't anything more to me than my…" I fumbled for a good word. "Prettiness."

"There had to be more to you than just your appearance. Everyone had something good inside them, so I was told. And, if you don't, we'll find something better. It'll all be right and, even if you don't like me, we'll all be better off. Everything happens for a reason."

I sighed and settled closer to him, feeling a bit weary at the conversation it had turned into. "You've been reading too much philosophy, Darkrai. You're too deep for your own good."

"What _is _this vendetta you have against human?" He said, sounding as if he was restraining a laugh. "It's as if you are obsessed with the creatures! Did one try to capture you? Perhaps you were chased around the world by a dangerous man with a gun?"

"I'm jealous, because they have pokémon as pets," I told him, blushing. "I…don't you dare laugh, Darkrai. I've never told anyone this before but, I want a puppy."

"A puppy? You hate all human kind…for a puppy?" I nodded, and his laughter became harder to restrain. "That's a terrible reason! You really don't get out much, do you?"

"Well, you're practically the only person I see. You can't bloame me for not being so good at this stuff when I never get the chance." I started out loud, but my tone softened quickly. My face was red and I continued. "I wasn't….I didn't have to come here and talk to you. I volunteered. This was just supposed to be a routine check up. I was supposed to make sure you were find after the battle."

"Why did you volunteer?"

"You know why," I murmured, head dipped low. His arm draped around me, protective and affectionate, and I quietly said, "I still say you're in a skirt."

"Social skills…"


	6. Groudon x Kyogre

**WARNING: Pokémon eating other creatures, comedic and not described, but if that kind of thing makes you ill…steer clear.**

**Pairing: Groudon/Kyogre**

"Go. Kill. Yourself." Groudon told the female, standing tall with pride. Water swirled with untamed fury on the hard lava stone, the cool spray hitting everywhere but the massive Legendary, whose very heat caused it to evaporate before it could touch his skin. Though, any human passerby would hear nothing but roars and grumbles from him, and strange, squealing noises from the water Legendary below. "What is your _purpose_? Nobody fricken _cares _about you! You make _water! _There's no one who needs more water! Humans always need more land. You know what that means? You existence is pointless. I'm better than you!"

She stared at him for a moment, eyes cold and body motionless. She could sit in the water, while it whipped violently, and remain without drifting in the waves. A talent she was proud of, as if made for very good staring contests. "I hate you, and you are not better than me." She replied. Her body lowered in the water, ducking under to moisten the top (which she could never leave to dry for long) and the rabid fire type continued his rant. She was not particularly vocal, always loving to keep her words short and sweet and irredundant as possible, and what took him three hours to say took her a few seconds.

"What do you say to that, huh? Whaddya say, whaddya say? You can't respond, can you! Oh no! You've been burned! Hell yeah! You've been burned like an overdone meatloaf! What are you going to say about that? What do you say?" He would have danced, if he was light enough, agile enough and far enough from the water. Unfortunately, he was heavy, clumsy, and falling into the water would turn him as much stone as the rocks he wished to dance on.

"I say, I hate you," She returned, floating calmly. "Must we continue to argue? Honestly, I don't see the point unless you're creating land in the process. You know what else? I'm hungry. So if you've got nothing else to say, I feel like dolphin."

"Wait! No!" He shouted as she turned to leave. His voice boomed long and far over the almost soundless seas, and as she turned to him, only the endless tide could be heard. "You could, uh, stay here. You know, if you wanted to. We could find something else to talk about. Would could talk about…weather?"

"…You're kidding me, right?" She asked. "Last time I checked, we partially controlled the weather."

"Do you want to talk about how we control the weather?" He asked hopefully. He brought his claws to his head and slammed his head with a moan. He shook the mass of flesh with loud moans, something that would have surely scared any creature that had been eavesdropping on the conversation (and, indeed it did. Magic the Pichu had a wonderful story to tell his friends that night, too bad no one believed a word he said) "No! That's stupid, I'm stupid. What's wrong with me? What do you want to talk about? You like water, right?"

She stare at him, face scrunched with confusion. "Yes, I suppose I enjoy water as you enjoy land, because I live in it. I'm also quite good at controlling water, I suppose. What, exactly, do you want to say about water?"

"It sure is…wet," He tried awkwardly.

"Yes, I've notice that water is generally wet," Kyogre agreed. "I doubt there will ever be an exception, either. It's also blue, typically, and has creatures living in it. Imagine that."

"You don't have to be so mean about it!" Groudon mumbled. "I'm just trying to make conversation. You don't have to shoot me down every two minutes. You know what you are? You're mean! Why can't you be nice to me for once? I can be a nice creature! Nobody will ever like you, you mean…you mean water thing."

"Oh, the horror. I'll never comeback from that suffering blow. If you continue to insult me in such a way, I might very well go dolphin hunting. I may bring you one back, if you'll bring me back a togepi. Those little things are _soooo _tasty and salty." She licked her lips and turned to leave once more.

"Don't go! …But when you do, I would like a dolphin. But no, don't go! I really want to talk to you! I get lonely! Lonely is worse the hungry! _Please _don't go! We can talk about other things, anything you want! I'll try not to be so stupid anymore!" He would've got to his knees, but he was sure he would go off balance, fall into the water, and die a miserable death if he did. "Please! I have no friends!"

"What about that ponyta you were hanging out with?"

He stopped whining to sigh. "He was such a good friend…and then I ate him. He was an awfully spicy little beast. Gave me heartburn."

"Did he make you mad again?" Kyogre asked calmly, hearing this story many times before. "I know how you get when you're cranky with a friend."

"No, I was really hungry. He was sleeping…so easy to catch…I hope he died painlessly. I mean, his eyes did open and he didn't make a sound."

"Well, that's always a good thing. Now, what was all this business about you being lonely?"

"Oh! I'm so lonely! There's never anyone to talk to, and when there _is _someone, I eat them! Is it my fault they're all so delicious? If they didn't want to be eaten, they shouldn't make themselves taste so damn good! I'm so lonely…" He began to wail, tears of lava running down his face. "And now I'm hungry! Life is nothing but misery! Why oh why is the world so full of untold horrors?"

"You're so dramatic. So you're a little lonely, whoop-de-doo. You're not the only one. Legendaries are typically alone because we're _solitary _creatures! I don't know what you are after me for. How do you expect me to help? I can't make you stop eating your friends, only you can do that."

"But you could be my very best friend! I even made you a friendship bracelet!" He held out a piece of rope, frayed from his claws, and dyed (or 'died' if you are into puns) a coppery red. "I bet it could fit around your head!"

"Thank you, but I'd rather not put a bloody piece of rope around my neck. It was a very kind gesture, however, and I thank you for it. It's a very pretty necklace I just…" She struggled for an excuse so she would not have to drag a bloody thing around with her. "The water would take all the color out of it. I'd hate to ruin it."

"Alright!" He chirped, tossing it behind him. "So, will you, uh, maybe sometimes…" He went shy and looked away. "Could you stop by more often? I won't call you pointless anymore. I'll try not to argue. It's mean a lot if you would."

"But, why me? Surely you'd have better luck with another fire type," Kyogre inquired.

"Well, none of the other types are as nice to look at as you. Well, Cresselia is, but she's mean. Well…uh…well…" He scratched the back out his neck and sighed, unsure of what else to say to convince her. He was positive she would leave him now, and he would not have anymore friends. If she did, he was sure he had seen a pichu race off somewhere; he could still smell it. Yes, if she left him, he would go after the pichu and have it as a friend until he got hungry…

She sighed, "Stop saying 'well' and wait here. I'll grab two dolphins as fast as I can. We can each have one and talk over dinner. Will you feel less lonely and hungry if I do that?" She swam up to rest herself on the rocks.

He, moving as carefully as possible, got to his knees to grin at her. "That sounds great! Can you do it every day? Not just every once in a while! Maybe every meal! Oh, that would be awesome! I wouldn't be lonely at all then! Ph, please of pleas, Ky! I'd love you _forever _if you did!" He moved as if to hug her, and she dove beneath the tumbling waves.

She surfaced, furious at his stupidity. "Dunce! You'll burn me!"

"Forgot," He said dejectedly.

She shook her head, a hard task for someone with no neck bones, and glared. "This friendship is going to be difficult. Are you _sure _you can't just get new friends?"

He sighed and fell back into a strange sitting position. "No, they're all too afraid I'll eat them."

"Fantastic."

"I won't eat you!"

"Even better…"

**(Page Break)**

Future Pairings:  
Grovyle x Shiny Celebi (Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Darkness (PMDED))  
Meowth x Pikachu (Yup, from the show)  
Totodile x Bulbasaur (PMDED)

And if any of my reviewers could give me a bunch of other pairings, I would love to write about them!


	7. ShinyCelebi x Grovyle

**Pairing: ShinyCelebixGrovyle**

Why do all humans call oddly colored pokémon shiny? They aren't shiny, at least, not that I've seen. They are pretty, probably because it's so fascinating to see a new pelt on an old favorite. I admit, I always had a thing for shinnies. The coloration always fascinated and I always loved the anomalies of any kind.

It's not wonder I ended up falling for one, not that I'll ever admit that I fell for one. It's not like I'll ever be able to have her, Celebi. Look at her, for goodness sakes! A Legendary, a _Legendary _for Arceus' sake! How could a Legendary pokémon, a _shiny _Legendary pokémon, fall for some boring old creature like me? It couldn't happen, never in a million years! Should..._would _probably fall in love with a shiny Turtwig or something…

…I hate Turtwigs…

And it just occurred to me that these have got to be the weirdest thought of anyone about to die through a transdimensional vortex of time and space, especially since I'm probably lying. Who thinks of being rejected by an unrequited love while they're dying? I guess that's another reason Celebi would never go for me: I'm a creeper. Dammit. This sucks. I bet Aldonza and Dante are having the time of their lives!

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"We fainted again!" The totodile raved. "How many f--ing times can we f--ing faint at this god forsaken stupid f--ing place? I'm getting f--ing sick of all this crap! Can't we just throw f--ing rocks at the window until Dialga or Palkia or whatever the f-- it is moves its f--ing ass out here? Dante, go get rocks! We'll hit that f--ing window!"

"You know, if out life story is made into a kids' game, they'll have to completely rewrite the script, Ally. And, honestly, I know you're the team leader and all but I have to make the suggestion that any rock we throw is probably going to hit us on the head and there's no window. This is pointless. Let's just go into the dungeon again."

"No! It's going into that dungeon over and over because I'm out of orbs and there's a f--ing monster house on every floor is pointless! Why the hell do they all gather? And where the f-- do they come from? They dropped from the ceiling or some crap!" Aldonza snapped. She glared at the bulbasaur. "Now, come with me to gather rocks, my trembling comrade!" She leapt from the stairs and searched the floor frantically for rocks.

"And I'm in love with that," He sighed. "Well, time to start our mission! …Holy crap, am I the only one who hears a heroic theme song?"

**(PAGE BREAK)**

Yup, I bet they were living it up in paradise, wherever they were. They were doing something meaningful and here I was, doing something completely pointless! Dusknoir simply refused to go back in his time. I think he was afraid of vanishing.

"It's all over, Dusknoir, you lost! Get back in that damned hole you once crawled out of! I'm going with you, so if you need some comfort, you can hold my hand and call me Mommy," I whispered in his ear, pushing him closer to the vortex. "How does it feel, to know that you've lost everything you've worked for?"

"Why kill yourself in the process, Grovyle? There must have been something for you to live for. Surely you had hopes and dreams." His voice lowered, deathly quiet and persuading in my ear: "Loves you never admitted."

"None of the above," I snarled, pushing him harder.

He strained against me, seeing his chance. "Celebi could love you, Grovyle. I've seen it in her eyes. She desperately loves you, needs you to be by her side. Sure, you could throw your life away, but hers? Are you willing to sacrifice yourself and leave her forever mourning at your grave? It would wreck her, Grovyle. Rip her apart!"

"No," I shook my head.

"Heartless!" He cried. "She's shown you nothing but concern and passion and what have you given her in return? Nothing! At best, a tombstone with you name engraved in ancient footprint ruins. Cruel, horrible creature! She's so innocent, so carefree! I bet she still pulls petals off flowers and murmurs 'he loves me not'."

That was the final straw. I shoved with all my might and we were sucked into the strange area between the past and future. We rocketed through the timestream and I was all set to vanish. You know, something heroic like screaming while my body disintegrated or turning to bubbles with a sad smile. But all that came to me was black from the corners of my vision to swallow me whole.

**(PAGE BREAK)**

"You're not dead," A voice murmured. "You're always so crazy serious. You're worried and moaning and there's nothing _wrong_, you silly. How about you let up on the chant and thank me for not putting you in the other cosmic waste bin you call the future or the present or whatever. There are some ugly beasts. That's probably not too nice to say, I know, but it's true. You agree that honesty is the best, even if it's not too nice, don't you, Grow?"

"Celebi? I'm alive? Why?"

"Nothing vanishes, Grow. See, if you exist you always exist because it already happened. There's no way to put this whole time mess into words, at least, no way I know. I'm not too good with words. Grow, I know you're awake 'cuz you spoke so please open your eyes. I'm slightly worried you're blind."

"Why would I be blind?"

"The Vortex likes to steal things. Sometimes watches, sometimes kidneys. I hate having to yell at it. I don't even know where it put all those things. It probably hordes them as prizes. So, open up the lids so I can see if it stole your eyes."

My eyes burst open and I sat up quickly, chilled to my bones with the idea. "My eyes?" Thankfully, the meadow around burst into color and one adorably pink celebi was smiling at me. "Thank Arceus. It's nice to see you, Cel."

"Oh, don't worry. I _firmly _told that vortex that it better not steal from you. I always keep people I care about safe from that nasty thief." I saw color rise in her cheeks and felt it rise in mine. "That came out sounding awfully funny. I've embarrassed the both of us now! Oh, this is horrible! We're both blushing!"

"Blushing isn't the worst thing in the world, Cel, but what happened? What about Dusknoir, Dante…" My throat grew heavy as I thought of the third name. My partner, my best friend! My _trainer_! Could she…? I was terrified that she might be dead, or worse, had forgotten all about me. "Aldonza?"

"She chose to stay with Dante She's still a totodile, she had her memories back, but she had this strange obsession with pebbles. She's collecting them in order of size and hardness and color and shape and-"

"I know. She's strange like that. I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation. But they're alright? I mean, they aren't hurt or…? I trailed off, uncertain of what else could have happened. I wasn't really sure I wanted to know.

"They're fine, better than fine…In fact; they're one of the best rescue teams I've ever seen. They still remember you. They think or you often. You're practically a hero. Dusknoir…he's in jail somewhere. Super strength. He dies there. Poor guy doesn't even get a girl. You have to pity someone who can't ever get a girl. Hey, do you think that's why he was so angry?"

"Are you trying to tell me," I began, squinting at the bright eyed time traveler, "that _you _think that Dusknoir attempted to destroy _everything_ and _everyone_ because he didn't have a mate?"

"You'd be surprised what creatures do. I mean, half of your instincts are based on breeding. Well, to be accurate, everything you pokémon do is for reproduction. You only keep yourself alive so you can mate."

"The meaning of life is reproduction?" I snorted.

"No, silly. The meaning of instinctual life is to bow chicka wow wow. I can't tell you what the real meaning is: strictly prohibited to mortals like you." She wrinkled her nose and leaned close. "You know I can't tell you that. You've been trying for how long?"

I stared at her for a moment. Lovely creature, Celebi. All her features smooth, blending into one another, pink and white contrasting. She wasn't normal; I was. But, just for a flash, I decided it didn't matter. She didn't care. I didn't care. All in all, we weren't so different. Pokémon, the both of us. We were the same types too. She seemed fond of me, so what was preventing me from saying, "I think I'm in love with you."

Two seconds later, her face went cherry red and I came to the dim realization that I had said that out loud. "So, how about the time travel-"

She said suddenly, hopefully: "You mean it?"

"Mean what?" I said, a nervous grin spreading over my face.

"What you just said," She accused, beginning to get a little angry.

"I didn't say a thing."

"Yes you did."

"Did you?"

"Say something!"

"What'd I say?"

"I love you!" She shouted. Her face paled, even the darkest pink spots faded to an almost haunting white. Celebi's hands came up and slammed over her mouth, whimpering in shock and shaking her head wildly, legs thrashed around in the air as if she was trying to kick the words away.

I smiled, lopsided and laughed. "Oh, good, want to go on a date then?"

"What now?" She asked, cocking her head to the side.

"You said you loved me. I'm assuming that comes with a date. So, French or Italian berries?" I asked, laying down once more in the grass, arms behind my head.

She hesitated for a minute, then came down next to me and cuddled. "Japanese pokeblocks are my favorite."

I nodded, "Red, right?"

"You remembered! How sweet!" She squealed, clapping her little hands.

I nodded again, then continued to lay with her, a stupid smile across my face. I had the girl of my dreams, Darkrai was in a prison, I wasn't dead. Life couldn't get in better than this. We were going to go to Japan to get some of the finest pokeblocks in the world. People would be positively _throwing _them at a Legendary, let alone a shiny one. Then, it hit me: "How are we going to get to Japan? You just travel through time, not space, don't you?"

She giggled, almost swooning, "There are abra that know teleport. They can take us to that place Aldonza took you once, with the fantastic chartreuse blocks."

"Have you been planning?" I asked.

She wiggled uncomfortably. "Well, yes…"

"How long?"

She flushed. "Three years."

"But I've only known you for two," I gasped.

"Time travel."

"Ah, right." I said, relaxing. "So, you know this would happen: where and when and how?"

She giggled again, kissing my cheek cutely. "Don't I always?"

"That might get annoying. I have no idea when but-" I began, only to be roughly cut off.

"I do."

"Oh, well when-"

She sighed dreamily and pressed her cheek against my chest, all her nervousness apparently fading. "Our first egg hatched in a year, two weeks, six days, two hours, fourteen minutes and thirty seven seconds from now. It's a boy. We name him Ralph."

"Anything else?" I asked, stunned.

Celebi thought for a moment, then snapped her little fingers excitedly. "He plays with a little totodile." She grinned wickedly. "He inherited a strange trait from his mother: an unhealthy obsession with pebbles."


	8. Pikachu x Meowth

Everyone, thanks so much for the reviews and all the suggestions! I'm pleased to say you'll be getting at least fifteen more chapters out of me!  
I don't know how well this one turned out…  
**  
Pairing: PikachuxMeowth (This one is called Catandmouseshipping (no joke))**

* * *

Though she knew it was useless by now, Pikachu ground her mousy teeth into tough rubber bars. Now, more than anything, she wished she was a multi-type. What wouldn't she give to know razor leaf or even ember? Even _dig _might be a bit helpful. She was just plain _sick _of being a plain electric type and she was just plain _sick _of cages.

Why did these nut jobs bother locking her up? Ash was coming to save her in a minute, like he always did. There was no way they would get away, especially now that they had stopped running. Couldn't they _at least _have the brains to weave through the forest instead of in a straight line? It wouldn't hurt to get Ash thinking how to save her for once. He could use some work on his mental prowess. He wasn't exactly the juiciest berry in the bunch.

But, all joking aside, she was stuck there, gnawing at those annoying rubber bars with the electricity starting to crackle in her cheeks. Arceus, how she hated her life.

He spoke in poketalk, as he often did when Jessie and James weren't around: "You're never getting out of there."

Correction: _now _she hated her life.

"Shut up, nimrod," She barked icily, shaking her head and biting down harder into the plastic. "Can't you see I'm working on something?"

"I can see that. I don't know why you're trying. You're going to be locked up in there forever and given to the boss!" The cat pokémon laughed and held up one paw. "So much for your worthless electric attacks! They don't help you much in a rubber cage, do they, Pikachu? You're not such a precious pokémon after all! You think you're all powerful, but even you have a weakness! Not so high and mighty now, are you?"

She took her mouth off the rubber, partly because he was getting on her nerves, partly because her mouth was beginning to taste like blood. "Alright, listen, I don't know where you get off calling me high and mighty. I may have taken on some traits of my so-called master, but the ego isn't one of them, neither is stupidity, for the record. I know when I'm supposed to fight and when to jump into Misty's arms and hide because she'll always keep me safe from Signor Stupid. And as for my worthless electric attacks, at least I can manage an attack, huh? How about you? Manage to learn anything besides your egg moves, hotshot?"

He stared at her, mouth dropping open and eyes blinking.

"I didn't think so."

"Now wait a minute, tough guy-!"

"Could you refer to me as a tough girl? Tough guy sounds so masculine," She chuckled lightly, settling down in her container, wrapping herself up in her tail and flicking her ears around. No footsteps yet. Ash, Misty and Brock must be one their way, but they weren't coming too quickly. They probably were caught up with an Officer Jenny or some other tagalong that didn't know how to run fast enough or somehow distracted them with random cries of: "It's Team Rocket…wait, no, that's a bird. Sorry everyone!"

Meowth cocked his head. "You're a girl? Don't girls have a dent in their tail?"

Her ears pinned back, muscled tightened and she cast a venomous glare in his direction. "I take it you're from out of Kanto. A lot of Pikachu females in Kanto _don't _have dents in their tail. I don't appreciate being called a boy. I like to think that I have quite the feminine grace and elegance that a male could never imagine. Besides, my voice is awfully feminine. At least, I like to think it is. Don't you think my voice is pretty?" One ear was up now, her eyelashes batted.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" He asked.

She grinned, more catlike than he was. "Of course I am, as long as it's working. Come closer, spend time with me. I guarantee that any time we spend together will be absolutely," She dropped her voice to a low smooth sound, "electrifying."

"You're worse with the puns than Jessie and James!" Meowth cackled. "Electrifying! And you say you didn't pick up all the traits of your master? I think you did pick up on that stupidity! Electrifying, that's the dumbest thing I've heard all day."

"Oh! Shut up!" She snapped. "So I haven't had much practice. I was captured before I really got the chance to settle down, and it's not like an attractive Pikachu just walks across your path. Well, one or two, but they weren't exactly interested. I'm not exactly the most…agreeable creature. I'm not mate material. I'm too much of a control freak, I guess. I'm strong too. Male Pikachus don't like that, you know what I mean?"

Meowth shook his head. "No idea. In Meowth prides, it's the females who rule the pride. Male Pikachus rule your pride?"

"Of course, that's the way it is for most societies."

The cat shook his head one more time. "And you battle for the girls. Stupid, that's what it is. Your men are always scarred from fighting for mates, all battered up. Why should someone injured be your leader? Girls are so much better. They're never hurt. They think of everything _but _mating; that makes them make much, much better decision makders. Really, they're so much better than males for that kind of stuff."

She blinked. "Wow."

"What?"

"It's just…I've never heard a pokémon speak like that about females before. Usually they just talk about us being the weaker ones because we're smaller and have the babies." Pikachu cocked an eyebrow at him. "You know, you're really not half bad. One of the nicest pokémon I've met. What's your name, anyway?"

Meowth stiffened, feeling his eyes go wide. It had been years since he had used his real name. No one ever wanted to know; he was just plain Meowth. In fact, he wasn't even sure if he _remembered _his old name anymore. It was distant, but it was out of his mouth before he even realized. "Aiden. That's my name."

She smiled, an almost dreamy touch to it. "Aiden. That's a nice name. You ought to tell them that. I wouldn't mind hearing you being called Aiden. It makes you more …real. You know, you have a heart. You shouldn't be so afraid to show it." Her face took on a confused look and she crawled as close as she could, pressing her nose through the bars to look at him. "Why are you with Team Rocket anyway?"

Meowth shrugged. "It's my family."

"What kind of family makes you do bad things?" Pikachu whispered. "Why would you stay with a family that's mean to you and never wins and is only interested in helping themselves? Why don't you go get a better trainer? Someone who supports you and listens to you when you do and don't want to battle and takes care of you when you're sick?"

He smiled proudly at her. "Though they don't show it, Jessie and James are just as great as Ash. We're just in a bad place right now. One day we'll be famous. Maybe we'll get out of Team Rocket. That's what we're really after." He looked up at the sky, sighing happily at the thought. "We're gonna be movie stars."

He looked back down. "Hey, kid, promise not to tell anyone we're nice guys?"

She shook her head. "I wouldn't dream of it."

Meowth looked to the left, then looked to the right, then put his hand on the latch. "I don't even know your name and still I…" He narrowed his eyes, looking up at her, more angry with himself than he could ever be with her. "Don't tell _anyone _that we're good guys, alright? If Jessie and James ask…I guess you're just a little smarter at getting out of these cages than we thought." His nail went in the lock and twisted, opening the door with a click.

Pikachu gasped, her expression an explosion of delight. She leapt gracefully to the ground and bounded off a few steps before stopping. Her front paw wavered, itching to move forward again, but she spun around and raced close to Meowth. She got up on her hind legs and gently licked his cheek. "Jasmine," She informed quietly.

Then she was gone, leaving Meowth to hold a hand to his cheek and gaping after her.

Yes, Jessie and Jimmy-boy were definitely going to yell at him…

…but it would be worth it.

* * *

Future Pairngs (probably not in this order):

1. Lombre and Mawile  
2. Drew's Masquerain and May's Beautifly  
3. Deoxys and Rayquaza  
4. Jirachi/Celebi  
5. Azelf/Glameow  
6. Totodile x Bulbasaur  
7. Team RaiderxTeam Charm (Gallade/Gardevoir, Roserade/Medicham, and Rhyperior/Lopunny)  
8. Lugia x Ho-oh  
9. Mew x Celebi  
10. Suicune x Raikou or Entei  
11. Lugia x Articuno  
12. Raikou x Moltres  
13. Umbreon x Espeon  
14. Flareon x Vaporeon  
15. Piplup x Turtwig


	9. Flareon x Vaporeon xDark ficx

**The term "pups" in this refers to the vulpine pups, not dog pups. Just like Vulpix, I think Eevelutions and Eevee is a play off foxes. You're entitled to your own opinion.  
**This started out as a coupled fic, all romancey and it turned dark and evil and death and sadness and I don't really know why. –shrugs- Yay sadness.

You know, I think it was the story I read by SilverUmbra, the sad thing? Now I feel bad posting it, because it completely slipped my mind while I was writing this, and now it's in my head. They're nothing alike, because SilverUmbra's was a sweet sad, where as mine's more of a "Your parents didn't love you, did they?" kind of sad but for some reason I still feel like I'm copying. So, well, I swear I didn't mean to copy!**  
Pairing: Flareon x Vaporeon**

It was undeniably bitter, falling for an opposite.

Worse, falling for an opposite that…that was the way he was, the sinful monster.

I watched him, unable to breathe, unable to move, all my flames extinguished but a small spot on the scruff of my neck where no grass touched, just in case I panicked and lost control of my flame; I hid deep in the bushes by the lake so he wouldn't see me. And I was scared, not of being discovered, for it would not have been so bad for him to notice me, but terrified of the water, terrified of any splash that might be made by a scared water type or a frolicking baby.

I knew what would happen if I got wet. All fire pokémon knew. If all the flame was extinguished, our Life Fire, whether on the inside or out, it meant death. Many went as far to avoid all water, getting their H2O from grass and other watery foods. Though, for some, just that wasn't enough to live on. Those that did drink water were always especially careful, drinking slowly and stoking their inner flame all the while.

I was one. I was a puddle drinker. There was nothing like that cooling sensation, a relief from the never ending torment of heat that came with evolving this way.

But it was what I wanted, what I had always wanted. There was nothing I had desired more than to burn brighter than any other evolution. When I had pups of my own, I would always be warm for them, never letting a puppy go cold. I lived in the grassland, flat and full of water-giving plants, where there were very few water or ground types, so I would be the strongest and nothing would stand in my way.

But, it's all too typical. I needed a drink one day, and I saw _him._

You have to understand, since my mother and siblings left, I hadn't seen another of my kind, an eevelution. I was fascinated by what I saw. My mother had been an Espeon, my siblings had chosen to be Flareons, Jolteons, and one, who wanted a stone but decided to late, became a Leafeon. But never in all my life had I seen a Vaporeon. Never in my life had I ever saw something so wonderfully adapted to both land and water.

He was graceful beyond my imagination. He moved through the water quickly, smoothly, snapping up fish like they were standing still instead of the lightning fast devils I had batted at with playful motives when I was still an eevee. He jumped from the water too. I didn't know why, perhaps just for the sport of it, but he did leap with a twist and roll that I could never duplicate. He did it again and again, never tiring then vanishing deep underwater where I could only dream of going.

But sometimes…sometimes, sadly, he would appear to me.

"You again?" He inquired, glaring into the bushes. "Don't bother trying to hide, I see you clearly. I suggest you come out now or I'll blow out that last flicker of flame on your head. You shouldn't think I won't try it. I have no problems destroying a low burning fire."

He was prejudiced against all fire types. All in all, aside from the few dragon types, fire types were the strongest, a fact that made many pokémon bitter against us. We did, however, have the biggest weakness with our Life Fire, which, of course, a pokémon like him would take advantage of. The sad thing? Even though I knew he hated me, merely because of my type and heedless that we had never had a legitimate conversation before, I was still in love.

"I'm just here for water, Vaporeon," I whispered, my voice low. I emerged from the tall grass surrounding the lake, pinned my ears back and pinned my now full flaming tail (white fire, extremely hot, don't touch) against my stomach. "Please, have mercy."

"Begging for mercy, are you?" He chortled. "What kind of fire type is this? Where is the strength, the power that is so admired in your breed? Come now, give an attack. Let me feel the force of a flamethrower, an ember! Attack me if you dare, or are you too afraid to touch a powerful pokémon like me?"

"I'm not interesting in attacking you, Vaporeon," I whispered again. "Please, let me pass, I'm only interesting in drinking water. I'm thirsty. It's been nearly seven months since I've gone by here and there's not many berries. I can't gather all the water I need. It's starting to _burn_, Vaporeon. You don't understand what it's like, as a fire type, not having water…it's the worst pain that could ever be imagined." My voice was starting to crack, turning into a whimper. "Oh_, please_, just let me have a drink."

Water pokémon were beginning to gather. Despite the slight dislike all water pokémon were born with towards fire types, their glares were focused on Vaporeon. For once, they took my side and I had never been so glad.

"No," He grinned with wolfish delight. "I don't. Tell me. What's it like?"

"The fire inside me…" I gasped. "It's rising up, bigger and bigger each day I go without water. I can only quell it so much with plants and berries. If I don't get water soon it'll…" My throat worked to form words, but I could only stumble forward and fall to my stomach with a small cry. My legs sprawled in the grass, and I could feel all eyes on my helpless form.

"What?" He asked, his voice dropping as his head ducked low to whisper in my pinned ears. "What will happen?"

I felt tears, sizzling on my face. I was unbearably hot, the cool stream was so close. If only Vaporeon was kinder, gentler, so unlike the way he was. "It'll kill me, Vaporeon. It'll burn me from the inside out. Please, it's already starting. I can feel it. Oh, Arceus, I've tried so hard to stop it but I can feel it now worse than ever. It hurts so bad. Please, just a moment. It won't take too long. After this, I swear, I'll take a journey and find some other lake, stream, river, anything you want I swear I'll leave you alone. Just let me drink this one later time. You'll never be asked again, I promise. I _promise_."

"How can I be sure what you say is true?" He asked. He lay in front of me, sphinx like but with his front legs crossed. "How can I be sure that you're not just pulling my strings? How can I be sure you're not just using some wonderful acting skills. I wouldn't be surprised. I've heard that fire types like you are remarkably underhanded. Sneaker liars, the lot of you. Can't be too sure. Can't trust one of you."

"We're one in the same," I whimpered desperately, looking up with pleading eyes. "Vaporeon, we were both once eevees. We were once the same type, changed only by stones. Evolution changes many things, even personality, but it doesn't make one cruel, not ever. Have mercy in your heart, if not for a Flareon, for an eevee, a follow eevee. We could have played together as pups, and we never would have known…"

"No mercy for the damned," He retorted. "Fire you are, and with flames you'll rot in hell."

The water types continued to look on, panicked, but unable to do a thing. He was the ruler of the lake, as most eevelutions with their areas, and the pokémon wouldn't dare challenge him, not even in a pack. "But…we were the same."

"And I chose the right path," He snapped. "Are you urging pity because _you _chose the path to hell? Are you attempting to blame this on _me_, though you chose the twisted road that will lead you straight to Giratina's doors, straight to the hell all your fire types are damned to? Why show mercy?" His voice rose, booming as he rose to his feet. "You should suffer for what you've done! Do you feel the consequences of your actions? That fire inside you is no twist in genetics; it's what happens when you sell your soul to Giratina! You come to the water to redeem yourself, to quell the calling of Giratina when he beckons you to hell!"

"There was never any soul selling!" I cried, my head swiveling up at him. "Oh, Arceus! Please! Vaporeon, show mercy! I'll tell you whatever you want if you'll let me drink! Nothing can be worse than this! You can't imagine what it's like, to be burned from the inside out!"

He grinned, that same predator grin I should have known not to trust. "Fine, mercy I'll show since you cry out for the true god. Walk to the water, if you can. Drink deep from the water than be on your way."

"Thank you," I whisper breathlessly. I stumble to my feet and to the waterside, drinking with deep, greedy gulps. The water is wonderful, so soothing, so cooling. The heat that radiates from my body makes it sizzle in my throat and boil in my stomach, but it cools. It cools fast and so wonderfully I want to scream.

Then I have a reason to, as he comes up behind me. "Flareon," He whispers, death in my ear once more. "Tell Giratina you don't cry for him, but for the god you abandoned. Cry for Arceus, but it will do you no good."

He pushes, hard, and I scream once before I'm in the water, my fire flickering out almost immediately, but it is not sudden that I die. I know what happens when fire types die, at least I think I do. We turn to ashes, but I haven't turned to ashes yet. I'm suspended, underwater, not breathing but still somehow living. The water seeps into my bones, cool and refreshing and I sigh. My body feels funny, tingling and for once no longer warm, but cool. It's a good feeling.

For once, I follow his advice, the creature I fell for merely because there was no one else around. I cried for Arceus, because no one cries for the devil when they die.

_Arceus, please, take me where it's cool._

And there's a white light…

**

* * *

  
**Future Pairings (This list will probably be up and updated with every chapter):

Lombre and Mawile  
Drew's Masquerain and May's Beautifly  
Deoxys and Rayquaza  
Jirachi/Celebi  
Azelf/Glameow  
Totodile x Bulbasaur  
Team RaiderxTeam Charm (Gallade/Gardevoir, Roserade/Medicham, and Rhyperior/Lopunny)  
Lugia x Ho-oh  
Mew x Celebi  
Suicune x Raikou or Entei  
Lugia x Articuno  
Raikou x Moltres  
Umbreon x Espeon  
Jolteon x Absol  
Piplup x Turtwig


	10. Mawile x Lombre

…**Please…make the suggestions stop…just for a while…-collapses onto floor-  
Pairing: LombrexMawile (because I got a review begging me to do this one!)**

It wasn't for long, fifteen minutes at best.

…But it was a wonderful fifteen minutes…

He clung to her arm, sighing her name happily and cuddling close.

Lombre himself was baffled, not a few minutes ago he hated her. But now…now all he could imagine was snuggling into her unbelievably short hair and…and…

"You're so sweet," Mawile giggled, nuzzling back. "I like having my fun with boys. I kinda wish it would last longer, but, c'est la vie! You love a little while and then you just have to move on. That's who I am. I honestly hope you don't end up falling for me. What a pity that would be. But I've known my share of silly boys who keep hugging long after it's all worn off. It's simply not meant to be. I'm a traveler, you're a traveler, and we're certainly not going the same way. You're not going to do anything stupid like that, are you?"

"What wears off?" Lombre asked through his daze.

"The attract, silly!" She laughed, hugging him tight. "You didn't honestly think you started falling for me on your own, did you? That's crazy you silly, silly boy! You can't just go from fear to love in two seconds! Well, maybe you can if you evolve or such nonsense like that, but you certainly didn't, Lombre!"

"Uh…Attract?" Lombre asked, his big, wet eyes blinking.

She gasped and pulled back to look at his face. "You silly boy! You _did _think you fell for me! No, sweetness, you didn't. It was an attack. I do this to all the boys I take a fancy to. If you're cute enough I'll give you a quick blast of attract, spend a few minutes weaving an elaborate, wonderful, romantic fantasy, and then we're back on our way! I don't suppose you ever came across a crazy girl like me."

"No," He said, resting his head on hers. "Not ever."

"Well, that's all well enough. Plenty of pokémon haven't. But this is how some pokémon are. Attract wasn't just invented by humans, y'know. Any pokémon can learn it if they can try. It has a purpose. That's for frisky pokémon like me to get cute boys like you!"

Contrary to that, Lombre was quite sure that was an attack used to attract mates to continue the species. He highly doubted that when it was first created, pocket monsters though to use it for things such as being teases or whatever this strange creature was being. But now, at least, it all made sense. He didn't bother fighting it anymore, sighing into the beating heart, dizzy head feeling. It would be gone soon, then he could find Brock and get in his pokeball, far away from this crazy monster. Attract attack was definitely on his list of things to avoid in battle.

"Do you want to evolve?" She asked suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Evolving. You're a lombre, you use a stone to evolve. I have a feeling that there's a stone around here you could use. You'd be a ludicolo then, wouldn't you? You probably wouldn't be too terribly cute than. How disappointing. If only you evolved prettier! If only anything involved prettier. Everything starts out so adorable then it turns into an ugly, angry fighting machine. Are ludicolo's even good for fighting? I've heard they're just unnaturally cheerful."

"When will I snap out of this?"

She shrugged. "Soon enough. Why don't you just enjoy it? Think of it as…as a non-addictive drug! It feels nice for a little while, so just…just go with the flow why don't you? I've never had any boy be this gosh darn stubborn with me before!"

He blinked sleepily. "I'm sorry. But don't you ever want, well, real love? This isn't real. It's just…it's a bunch of hormones swirled together. I know you're all for that kest law view stuff, but don't you want something real? You can have that. I mean, I'm not in love with you but you're pretty and smart and I don't see why a guy wouldn't fall for you if you tried. Haven't you ever tried skipping the attract and just taking your chances?'

She glared at him, standing up abruptly. "Huh. Apparently that attract is wearing off faster than I thought."

Lombre shook his head, staring up at her. "No! Really! I'm not being mean but I'm sure if you just took a chance on this and stood up and, well, just tried, there's no reason why you couldn't find a mate and have eggs and all the kind of stuff mawiles like you dream about. Who knows? Maybe one day I could turn out to love you without the attract! We could end up being mates? Wouldn't that be funny?"

"No," She snapped. "It wouldn't. You're being ridiculous. I thought you were someone else. You're actually not the type of guy I like at all. I don't think I'm going to talk to you anymore. Don't try to come after me, I certainly won't be using attract on you ever again!"

He stumbled to his feet, chasing after her. "Wait! No! What'd I say? Whatever I did, I didn't mean it! Come back! If you don't want to be mates or if I offended you I…I didn't mean it! I still want to be friends, though you chasing after me was kind of freaky."

"I don't need friends," She shouted. Her black head behind her seemed to glare and scowl in his direction, looking as if any moment it would snap out to bite him. It made the dreamy haze of attract lessen, making him swallow and wonder how a water pokémon's mouth could possibly be so dry. "I've got a trainer! She's a great trainer too! It's stupid to think I'd ever want to spend even a moment with you!"

"That's a little cruel…"

"I don't care!" She screamed. "Just get away!"

He huffed. "You know, you _are _fake. You're a good for nothing fake. Everyone thinks you're sweet and cute and innocent and you're anything but. You'll do anything it takes to protect yourself from getting hurt, even if it mean doing something like putting every pokémon you meet under attract! You do it so you have the power! Last time I checked, being a regular, pre-evolved common pokémon like ourselves mean you don't chase after power, but after life. You live in harmony, doing your best to support your fellows until you turn into a vicious, evolved predator."

He walked around her, glaring in her face, eyes holding a fire she hadn't seen before. "Honestly, how much more human can you get?"

She shot out her fist, a Sucker Punch attack landing hard and skidding him back. He gasped on the floor, sitting up and shaking his head with the same drowsy tone he always had. Mawile continued to glare, small chest heaving and eyes narrowed. She was still discharging from the powerful attack, showing him that it wasn't even full power, maybe not even half that she had thrown at him. She was powerful.

"Don't you _dare _call me human," She muttered.

"Well that's how you're acting! Using pokémon for your own gain. At least a good human gives us the _choice _of who we mate with."

The female turned away, nose in the air. "Well, we all have our moral differences. Why don't you go after some evolution stone? We'll see how your views change then."

Unable to think of a good retort he called, "I'll still hate you! And I'll still be lazy!"

Well, he was right about some things.

**

* * *

**Future Pairings:

Drew's Masquerain and May's Beautifly  
Deoxys and Rayquaza  
Jirachi/Celebi  
Azelf/Glameow  
Totodile x Bulbasaur  
Team RaiderxTeam Charm (Gallade/Gardevoir, Roserade/Medicham, and Rhyperior/Lopunny)  
Lugia x Ho-oh  
Mew x Celebi  
Suicune x Raikou or Entei  
Lugia x Articuno  
Raikou x Moltres  
Umbreon x Espeon  
Jolteon x Absol  
Piplup x Turtwig  
Deoxys x Mewtwo  
Darkrai x Suicune  
Roselia x Absol


	11. Suicune x Raikou

Sorry this is such a slow updater. In all honesty, this started as something to break up writer's block, and it's not really an 'update priority'. But I promise you I'll make it to fifty oneshots, how does that sound? 50, baby! FIFTY!  
…Too excited?**  
Pairing: Suicune x Raikou**

"Shitake, that's some dirty water," Raikou blinked. "I say we just let them rot in their dirty water. They screwed it up. They screwed it up all by themselves so they should have to clean it up. No pokémon live here anyway. So why can't we leave? There's fried cheese at the Legendary Seminar! Don't you want some? It's tasty and fried and it makes your arteries scream for mercy. Nothing like fried cheese."

She glared at him, an invisible wind blowing her long purple hair and white silken ribbons. "Thinking with your stomach and not with your heart, and you expect me to become _more _than friends with you? No thanks, you overgrown battery. I'm going to go fix the water, _despite_ the fact they got it dirty, _despite _the fact it's their own problem. Then, I'm going to go someplace all isolated and I'm going to hope and wish that these creatures will learn how to keep their water clean and make a town that's habitable to something other than grimer and muk."

"They never learn."

"Some do."

"Most don't," He growled. "I want to leave! Come on!"

"This, good sir, is not your job. Nothing is holding you here, nothing but you has to make the choice. My job is to keep the water clean no matter that what's and why's and _you _be damned if you think for a second I won't help those that need it most."

"You're such a woman," He muttered crossly, singing to his stomach. "Keep on fixing things that don't need to be fixed. Sometimes it takes a little zap for the mouse to find the cheese."

"Are you comparing a small shock, a practically _static _shock to a mouse's nose to the death of hundreds or thousands of creatures?"

"Well, when you put it that way it just sounds cruel." Raikou muttered, scratching his creamy belly with a hind paw.

"And what way _could _you put it that makes it acceptable?"

"Sometimes it just takes a little zap for the mouse to find the cheese," he repeated in a cheery voice. "See how much better things sound when you're happy?"

"You are a twisted creature, Raikou," Suicune shook her head. "Have you no conscience?"

"My job is to burn forests so new trees can rise from the ashes. I wouldn't say I don't have a conscience. I'd say plan for the future, see what has to go wrong now for a better tomorrow. If you leave now and let a few die you'll be amazed at how fast the lake will clean up."

"Raikou! Those are human lives!"

"I prefer to think of them as Sims."

"You're disgusting," She snapped. He farted as if to prove it. "Raikou! Grow up!"

"I will if you will."

"Oh? What's that supposed to mean? I think I'm much more mature than that fart you just ripped." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Disgusting."

"Only a child believes in fairy tales and dreams," Raikou smiled. "The fairy tale of a clean world, it's cute. It'll never happen, but it's cute. After all, have you ever stopped to think what would happened if the world _was _without war, disease, famine, or even dirty water?" He used a front paw to scratch behind his ears. "You'd be out of a job. What happens when you're out of a job, Sui? You remember? Arceus told us way back at the beginning of time."

She swallowed. "I'll turn back to win and water; you'll turn back to lightning; and Entei will be all he ever was: an idea."

"Happiness and perfection means you die. The world can't be perfect, shouldn't be perfect because we would fade. We're here because we're needed, why would you want that to stop?"

She turned to him. "I understand what you mean, Raikou. I also know that people shouldn't die do to your own selfish devices. My job is the same as yours, Raikou, to help. But I help in a different way then you. Bother are equally effective. Don't tell me how to do my job because I don't tell you how to do yours."

They were quiet for a moment, nothing but polluted water slapping on the shore. The sounds of a steel mill in the distance whirred and grinded, a few loud bangs exploded through the silence. Then, almost too quiet to hear, came the sound of a splash. Not a big splash, like a land creature had dived in, but a small one. It sounded almost like a…

"A fish?" Suicune blinked.

"Can I eat it? Fry it up with some cheese and-"

"No!" She snapped, exasperated. "You heartless old dog! It's probably too polluted for you to eat anyway. But…it's alive. Something's living in this water! Everything's polluted wasteland, life still pushes through."

"We can take bets on how long it'll last. Starting a pool with the other Legendaries could be fun. Imagines the prizes."

"Insensitive jerk," She growled. "I hate you."

"Date me," He begged, rolling on his back and pawing at the air. "Look how cute I am! I've got claws and jaws and big, manly paws."

"Full of yourself, aren't you?"

"I feel pretty! Oh so pretty! I feel pretty and witty and bright!" He sang, rolling onto his front and shaking his mammoth head.

"Anything else?"

"You're beautiful in the moonlight," He complimented. "That cheesy, cheesy goodness of the moon would taste so good if only you fried it."

She snorted. "Point taken, I'll do this fast."

And one delicate paw sat upon the clearing water.

**

* * *

**Future Pairings:

Drew's Masquerain and May's Beautifly  
Deoxys and Rayquaza  
Jirachi/Celebi  
Azelf/Glameow  
Totodile x Bulbasaur  
Team RaiderxTeam Charm (Gallade/Gardevoir, Roserade/Medicham, and Rhyperior/Lopunny)  
Lugia x Ho-oh  
Lugia x Articuno  
Raikou x Moltres  
Jolteon x Absol  
Piplup x Turtwig  
Deoxys x Mewtwo  
Darkrai x Suicune  
Roselia x Absol  
Umbreon x Espeon  
Mew x Celebi


	12. Raikou x Moltres

Y'know, I'm really growing attached to my Raikou. Feel free to suggest more Raikou shippings. He's fun!  
This chapter is inspired from my favorite episode of all time. James is the Flaming Moltres. …Am I the _only _one who finds this hilarious?  
Anyway, future pairings are now posted on my profile for neatness.**  
Pairing: Moltres x Raikou**

With her flames doused so the fire wouldn't eat up all the oxygen, it was pitch black in the cave. With her flames doused, it was also silent. There was a bit of quiet breathing, maybe the sound of a moving body before it settled, but nothing much. It wasn't a comfortable silence either. It was awkward. At least, it was for poor Moltres. She was trapped in a cave with Raikou, who was quite possibly the last creature alive she would ever want to be trapped with, and they had just had a huge argument about getting stuck in said cave, whose fault it was, a painful comment from Raikou, and this all led to quiet. The calm before the storm.

He snickered and set it all in motion. "Flaming Moltres."

"It's not funny!" She snapped at him, shuffling in place. Her talons scratched in the dirt and her wings opened wide on instinct. If there was light, she would have looked bigger, intimidating, and certainly much too strangely shaped swallow. Sadly, it was dark and this meant her threatening stance went unseen and uncared for.

In all honesty, he wouldn't have cared how big she was. He would do absolutely anything to annoy someone. "Yes, yes it is. He's in a Moltres costume, flying around and calling himself the Flaming Moltres. That's priceless! I wish I had a video camera or whatever humans are using to watch this stuff. That's one thing I could stand seeing over and over again." He sighed after a laugh, then started up again. "Well, I'll give him one thing: He really is a flaming something."

The bird of fire had a small snarl that was growing bigger as time went by. For Moltres didn't like people. She didn't like pokémon. Most of all, she didn't like Raikou. Now she was being confronted with the most embarrassing of fan stories and she had no idea on how to make a comeback. "I take it as a compliment. He likes me so much he's willing to dress up. How do I know _you're _not just jealous? He did something kind, I guess."

"Yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that he's…a _flaming _moltres." The large pokémon snorted. The small noise was bouncing off the walls of the cavern, amplifying it and making it unbearable to either Legendary's sensitive ears.

She moaned. "Would you stop?"

"No," He retorted, giggling like a child. For a moment, the crazy giggling continued, growing louder with the amplifying cave and growing louder with his new idea. "Hey, we're alone in cave together, Moltres. Let's make a baby."

"We're infertile, you ass," She rolled her eyes. _Here _was the biggest reason she hated the creature. He was a chauvinistic pig. No one really liked him. What's more, he didn't even seem to _care _that he was almost universally hated. From Arceus to the lowest caterpie to any human wandering the planet, he was hated. His personally counted him out with the Legendaries, and his purpose (to burn forests) counted him out with the mortals. He always seemed to come to _her_, despite her own hatred for him, to the point where she was beginning to wonder whether or not he had a crush on her.

"We can try and hope for a miracle," He suggested merrily.

"You're digusting," She rolled her eyes. "If it wasn't for you and your safety, I could be out of here by now." She fell silent, ruffling and preening her feathers in thought. "I could melt the rock if I tried, you know. It wouldn't be too hard. It might take a minute or too but they'd melt. You'd be able to leap over them, I could fly out without a problem. Raikou, are you absolutely sure you can't stand the heat?"

The male grumbled, his good humor lost. "I have a sneaking suspicion if it melts rock, it'll melt bone. I don't think Arceus can fix that. As much as you'd _like _me to melt, I need to be here. I've got a purpose. People like trees. They help them breathe. You don't have a purpose, you stupid fire bird. You just look pretty and inspire hope or some crap."

She smirked. "She can always make a new you. A less annoying you. A Raikou that doesn't zap birds into caves and cause rockslides."

"What kind of Raikou is that?" He said, cheering quickly.

"A good one."

"Is not," He giggled. "I'm a little sorry about zapping you all the time. I know I shouldn't have. It was mean and it made us end up in this hell hole. We can't get out anytime soon. I'm sorry about being so immature. I was just bored and Suicune's busy cleaning some lake and Entei's convinced he's the father or some human girl, which is as freaky as it gets. Mew says he'll play with me, but the last time he asked to play with me he accidentally used a strong enough psychic attack to blast me into an ocean. We were in the desert at the time, talk about your climate changes, right? But, yeah, I don't think I'll play with him sometime soon."

"Why don't you play with Zaptos?" Moltres suggested. "You're both electric type. I'm sure he'll be happy to entertain you."

"When you say 'play' you make it sound so degrading. I like to have fun, it's not a crime. In fact, you should try it some time," Raikou returned snappishly. "And I can't play with Zaptos. He's even more uptight than me! Have you seriously ever tried to bond with the guy? He does nothing but zap again and again and again until you're unconscious. The last time I was here he chased me around screaming 'my island!' until Lugia finally showed up and calmed him down. What's with him?"

Moltres sighed. "The last time you were here the orbs were missing and we were in a bit of a crisis. Zaptos was a little territorial. I admit, he was a little mean to you, but he's better now. Really, I'm sure he wouldn't mind playing with you. He might even enjoy it! You two could zap each other gently and wrestle and do whatever boys do when they're alone together. You could shapeshift human and get Mew and all the boys and have a nice game of football. That's a good way to get all your energy out."

"I'm not playing with Zaptos. End of stories. He's a jerkwad."

"A jerwad," She repeated. "Alright, you don't have to play with him if he's a jerkwad. There's lots of other Legendaries. They all have their own little quirks and I'm sure there's one you could find to play with you. Not all pokémon are as mean or aggressive as Zaptos and Arceus. Some are nice. Look at me! I'm nice, and Mew just doesn't know his own strength. If he was a little more like Mewtwo, except not as dead inside…" She groaned. "Who could you possibly play with?"

"Well, lately I've been playing with you," He grinned, wishing they had just a little bit of light so she could see it. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but I really like playing with you. You're smart and fast and you're purpose is to be pretty like I said before, so I don't mind watching you run away." (This sounded much too like: I hate seeing you go but I love to watch you leave, for Moltres' tastes) He crawled closer to her butting her chest with his head. "Plus, you'll yell at me when I go too far instead of just blasting me away. You're the best playmate I've got, so if you're gonna say that there's one pokémon out there for me, I'm going to have to agree."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked, flapping her wings a bit. She lit them instinctively, feeling nervous. This seemed to only create mood lighting, showcasing exactly how close he was to her face, that smirk still plastered on his face and a deep, frightening purr coming from the back of his throat. "You finally found a pokémon that'll play with you, I hope? You'll leave me alone instead of harassing me around my own island?"

"Well, yes and no," He laughed, creeping closer.

"Stop being so weird," She muttered. "What are you going on about?"

"I found a pokémon to play with me, but just because I found her doesn't mean I'll leave you alone. See, she's a bird. She's actually a fire type and she's always going on about how she hates me. She constantly tells me how everyone hates me, because if I'm not careful I can really set off her wild temper. She's sweet sometimes, like when she tries to help me find someone to play with. She acts like she's doing it so I'll leave her alone, but I know she's just doing it to be sweet."

"You flatterer you. Get out and go home." She stepped away, pressing against the cave wall but still too nervous to douse her lights.

"I'm not a flatterer, I mean it," He defended. "since we can take any form we want, well, we could always be the same type. Something that would fit together. We could be two dewgong or two pikachu or two weedle, whatever you feel like. We could even be two voltorb." He grinned and stepped closer. "I'm not exactly sure how voltorb make a baby, but I wouldn't mind trying to find out. What do you say, Moltres?"

She gulped. "I…well, I…"

Suddenly, white sunlight shot in and the light sound of small rocks rolling down a mountain echoed throughout the small cavern. Zaptos had shoved his head through one of the few holes he had made and was now glaring at the two of them. "My island!" He screeched, glaring more fiercely. "This is _my island. _What are you doing here? Get off, get off, get off! I hate all of you! My island, dammit, it's _my _island! It's just for me! Now get out!"

Raikou arched an eyebrow. "He's changed?"

She shrugged. "It's mating season." With that, she flashed out her bright wings and burst into flame, looking every bit the magnificent fire bird she was. Any other infatuated creature would have marveled, compliments her on the amazing glory that is the phoenix of the pokémon world.

But Raikou, being Raikou, could only bring himself to snicker one thing as he backed away. "Watch it flaming Moltres!"


	13. Celebi x Mew

**Pairing: Mew x Celebi**

Though his heart was always a wildly beating due to his small size and his hyperactive nature, Mew's heart beat even faster when he was with her. He guessed it was because she was pretty and nice and happy and didn't yell at him when he did something stupid. Celebi would giggle and call him silly when he did something wrong, and when he screwed up as much as he did, it was a very good thing she could brush it off. He was beginning to have a certain strange idea in his head, an idea that she might make a good mate if he ever really wanted to take one. Not that he _would _after all, he was only a few millennia old. He had existed only as long as humans had, which wasn't a very long time at all.

They ate berries today. A little blanket was all they sat on while small picnic basket they had filled to the brim with berries was their lunch. The berries were ripe and red and heavenly sweet, they had some kind of human name, but neither could remember what it was for the life of them. They grew right below Celebi's favorite place to sleep, probably a huge factor of the sweetness, and next to the lake Suicune herself had purified, which was _certainly _a factor. The juice stained his muzzle and paws, though she somehow managed to eat them with neat and clean ease. _She _stayed pretty when she wanted too.

"Where'd you find these, Celebi?" Mew asked. Sure, he knew the answer, but when she replied she always had the sweetest voice and the biggest smile on her face. He really, really loved that smile. Acting stupid was worth it. "You sure are good at finding berried, because I'd never be able to find berries as good as you. You'll have to show me how to do that! I'd have to bring along a notepad, since you know so much about it. I'd probably have to record it too! I can't keep all that in my brain. I'm not all too smart. They made Mewtwo much, much smarter than me. They made him an icky, purple-grey color too. I wonder if they really think I'm that ugly? I'm not ugly at all!"

"You're pink and rambling," She giggled.

"Takes a real man to be pink," Mew grumbled, feeling his face tint at the age old tease. He popped another berry in his mouth and chewed over his embarrassment slowly.

"I don't know why you get so nervous. I don't think that you're stupid, so you don't have to pretend you are to try and prove me wrong. The compliments are nice, but it's probably better to give them one at a time, right? Because when you give them all at once, it sounds a little creepy." She laughed. "It's almost like you're stalking me."

"That reminds me of this funny thing I found when I was surfing the interweb. It was, uh, don't tell me! I know it!" He waved his arms about him frantically, his eyes growing even wider in his attempt to remember that funny thing on the 'interweb'.

She giggled again. "I couldn't tell you if I wanted to! I don't know what it!"

"Oh! Oh! I remember now, honest! It was, erm, a secret admirer is just a stalker with stationary." He laughed at that, all too frightened, but calmed when she chimed in.

"That's a good one, Mew! I'll remember that! But I'm curious. Where's you find this blanket and basket! They're so beautiful and I'd love to add it to my stash!"

Mew swallowed and his mind flashed to the spot where he had found it…

* * *

The redhead crossed her arms and glared at Ash Ketchum. "What. The. Hell. Happened. To. My. Lunch?" She snarled. The only thing keeping her from jumping him where he stood was the human barrier: Tracey, who stood between them with a frightened look in his eyes.

"A flying pink cat took it," Ash said nervously.

"A pink cat? A pink cat stole my lunch? Of all the stupid excuse, this is the only thing you can think of! A pink cat! You freaking retard! A pink freaking cat! What is wrong with you?" Misty shouted, her fists clenched over her chest and her eyes lit with a murderous fire.

"A flying pink cat," Ash corrected awkwardly.

"Tracey, let me kill the moron! He's crossed the line this time! I'm hungry and the fatty probably at the food, the basket, _and _the blanket! You could have at least left me a sandwich, you jerk!"

Tracey caught her as she rocketed forward, holding her close in hopes to save Ash while screaming, "he's the Chosen One, Misty. Don't kill him. We _need _him. For the world, Misty, resist for the world," in her ear.

While Ash could only mutter one phrase: "I'm not fat, am I?"

* * *

Mew looked around shiftily. "I found it. There wasn't any good inside and there definitely wasn't any psycho redheads or Chosen Ones, heh." He rubbed the back of his neck and smeared the berry juice all around. He was more a dark red than pink now, his naturally colored fur seemed spotted in between the juicy color. "You can keep the basket. I don't mind. Consider it a present from someone who really liked pokémon."

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Did you steal this?"

"Uh…no?"

She beamed. "Alright then! So, what do you want to do? We can run around or eat more berries or swim or whatever you like! We can even check out this hollow tree I found that might be haunted! Wouldn't it be cool to see a ghost? A creepy spirit trapped here? It's a little sad, but a lot cool, do you know what I mean?" She asked eagerly.

Mew gulped, feeling his heart speed up, and _not _in a pleasant way. He _hated _ghosts. First, they were dead and creepy and except for Casper they were usually out to kill him and steal his soul. He happened to like his soul. He liked his soul quite a lot. In fact, over the past few millennia, he had noticed that his soul was possibly much happier to be in a living, breathing body than to be in hell with, what else? a bunch more freaky as hell ghosts. Secondly, he was a psychic type. He had not yet met a psychic type who eagerly went with ghosts. The latter had a bit of a type trump.

"You really want to see a ghost?"

"Yeah!" Celebi chirped. "You're not scared, are you? I thought it took a real man to wear pink! Maybe you're not a real man! Maybe you're just a real coward. Run away, just like a poochyena!" Celebi ridiculed.

"I am a real man!" Mew cried, spinning up in the air. "Take me to the ghosts! I'll show them! I'm coming out fighting! To the caves, Celebi! No stupid old ghost is going to get the best of me! Oh no! You can bet your bottom dollar on that!"

Celebi rolled her eyes. "That's great, Mew, but the tree isn't way up there, it's right behind us!" She jerked her paw back at a large tree behind them

"We…we were right next to it the whole time?" Mew asked, his voice getting pitchy and face flushing darkly. He had planned on talking her out of it while they flew there. Well, he sure couldn't ditch out now! "Are you sure you wouldn't rather teleport to Ireland and check on Nessie? Nessie likes visits," Mew nodded surely, but Celebi had long since turned away.

She disappeared inside the hollow, waiting a minute before sending out a vine to drag him in. The inside was dark, so far, bottomless, and damp. Mew and Celebi were squished tight together, each using their own psychic light to brighten the darkness.

"If you touch the tree, you can feel the power. I kept it alive with my magic, you know, paving new pathways so the nutrients can still get up and down. It's almost completely healed. Isn't it amazing, how with just a little bit of help a tree can live longer than anything else on earth?"

Mew smiled and laughed nervously, noting that their faces were just a few measly inches away. They could kiss if they wanted to, but Celebi apparently didn't, as she looked up and shot up the tree. Mew followed, heart in his chest.

"Isn't this dangerous?" He asked. "It can't go on forever, and I don't think there's a light up top! There's no way out! We'll get squished!"

"Not it you trust me!" She laughed and shot off faster. "Listen to the tree, it'll tell you when to stop. Trees are the most loving things in all the world aside from cactuses!"

"Cactuses?"

"Well, when you only bloom for a few days a year and rarely ever get water, you tend to be grateful for pretty much everything. When you're grateful that turns into love and, voila! Cactuses."

"Sweet, Mew nervously agreed. "So, about that whole listening to the forest thing, since we're uh, goin' slow and this is taking a while, could you explain that better?"

She took his paw and folded it over her heart with a smile. "You can hear this, can't you? If you can hear it in me, you can hear it in the forest if you'll only take the time to listen," She smiled. "Close your eyes and trust your heart."

He did so. His eyes fluttered shut and he focused on the beating. Thuh-thump, thuh-thump, thuh-thump. Her slow breathing beckoned his own lungs to slow, his own heart to calm. Everything was slowing, even the quick ride up (what should have been a quick ride up with the speed they were traveling at) seemed to take an eternity. There was something in his head, a pressure, some kind of warm fluttery feeling that made everything go slower. Was it…the tree?

"Can you hear it?"

Her voice, and the world stopped. No, he stopped and he fell, his heart throbbed into overdrive as they spun back down, head first, a million ways to die, and he didn't think of one. Faster and faster they spiraled down, his body reacted violently to the freefall but his mind was clear and calm. "Have you always had this much fun?" He laughed.

"Since time started," She retorted with a smile. "I just love the feeling of spiraling out of control. Stop early. There's something to see farther down."

They jerked to a stop, Celebi releasing Mew and allowing his hand to fall to the side. Then, they floated. It was just a few feet below. A nest a zigzagoon, buried safely away from the predators.

She found his hand again and clutched it. "See, this is why the tree doesn't rot. This family. They'll be out in just a few weeks."

"And the tree…?"

"Everything stays until its job is done. That's why we don't die, as you know."

"What do you mean?"

She giggled. "Right, of course you weren't paying attention. Legendaries live as long as nothing takes out place. The second we, ah," She blushed, "make replacements, we're gone."

Mew nodded and held her hand tighter. He wasn't ready to die…or to make replacements just yet. But when the time came, he think he'd be ready as long as he was with her.

* * *

…Well, this sucked eggs. I apologize, because it's okay, I suppose, but certainly not fantastic. Feel free to review and let me know what a dreadful sin I've unleashed on fanfiction! XD I hope the next one will turn out better.


	14. Raikou x Mew

What? Absent for months? No…no…you're all crazy. I've been updating this whole time. They're just so amazing fanfiction refuses to show them to unworthy eyes…yup…that's _exactly _what's going down. Anywho, today's ditty has been brought to you by Siran 774, for this lovely prompt from a PM:

"You were in a boat, but then a storm hit. You were knocked into the water, unconscious. When you wake up again, you find yourself in a cave with a pool of water. Out of the pool swims a bottled nose dolphin. He greets you with a cheery clap of his flippers. What do you do?"

This leads to "mock other's phobias", and I came up with this. So you KNOW I have to have Raikou…and Raikou's a girl in this one, sorry to disappoint, but I'm not sure how many of the reviewers feel about guy on guy, though most support pokmonxhuman so they're probably pretty accepting…ah well. It's fun to mix up commonly accepted genders! Beware the fluff…

**

* * *

**The flying pink cat hovered above the water, watching the lightning legendary plunge in with a happy roar. Suicune, furious as she had just cleaned the water, sneezed at them and raced off to some other polluted place, angry feet spending up mounds of dirt behind her. That her hard work was being wasted by a dirty dog and cat was just distracting enough that she didn't notice, not even when one of the rocks kicked up hit a bidoof in the face. Somewhere in the distance, pokémon game players cheered at the pain of the annoying creature which, let's face it, nobody really likes.

"Come in the water," Raikou said, raising a playful paw to bat at the tail dangling above her. She giggled hard when she managed to catch it and Mew squealed, racing up and just out of the reach of her prying paws. "Aw, play with me…_please_?"

"I don't wanna," Mew argued, trail thrashing about him. "I wanted to go and find some trainers to freak out, but you just wanna swim. You don't get the joy of freaking out trainers! You just go right in front of their face, and when they reach for their pokeball you zoom away! It's _so _funny, Raikou. You're fast enough to do it! Come try!"

The thunder cat walked out of the water, shaking the droplets across the grass and smirked. "You know, Mew, if I didn't know you any better, I might have said the kitty's afraid to go in the water. The kitty can't possibly be scared of that." She dropped into a dog-like play crouch, tail wagging like an excited puppy. "But then again, I've never seen the kitty cat in a pool. I've never seen the kitty cat get his fur wet."

"I'm not scared!" Mew argued. His tail flashed between his legs and he hugged it like a security blanket. His little frame began to quiver as he tried to remember exactly how high Raikou could jump. From what he could remember, it was awfully high, but getting tackled into the dust while running around the country side was one thing. Getting tossed into that disgusting, evil, nasty water below was another. "You better not try anything! I'll tell Arceus!"

"I'm not afraid of Arceus!" Raikou snorted.

Mew's eyes widened and he forgot all about his fear, racing close to her face. "Really? Like, really, really? You're not afraid?"

"Just like you're not afraid of water," she returned, and jumped forward.

Mew barely had time to think, and acted on instinct when mighty paws clasped around his tiny torso and short, warm fur was suffocating. He, oxygen deprived as he was, managed to summon up enough psychic power to teleport himself high above the water, dodging the splash Raikou created as she continued her bound forward and right into the water. She disappeared under, staying that way for quite some time, and Mew began to pray she hadn't died. After all, Arceus would be quite displeased.

But, no, the crafty beast had swum down to the bottom of the lake, and pushed off the bottom, swimming and surging to the top, just high enough to clap paws around the tail, then yelp when he slid right out of her hands and she toppled back into the water, sinking beneath the waves before immediately bounding up and doggy paddling around below, smiling up and wondering if there was some way to drag the cat down.

"Mew!" she sang. "I've got a secret to tell you!"

"Shut up! You do not!" Mew cried. He began to swoop over the top of the water, far away from Raikou to be sure, but kept a careful eye on the other Legendary as he lowered himself over the middle, lapping up the water as quickly as he could. After all that excitement, breathing ragged and hot day taking its toll, he needed a refreshing drink. The water was cool and sweet thanks to Suicune, and he almost squealed with joy at how nice it was.

"I can't believe you're scared of a little water. It's not like you're a ground type or anything. It doesn't hurt, you baby. You can't even die! First of all, you can teleport away, and secondly…I'm pretty sure we just can't die." She wrinkled her nose and dared to tread a little closer.

"Still water," he mumbled. "I hate water, and you can't change it. It's icky and wet and nasty and you're the only one who likes it, because you're icky and wet and nasty too. You know what else? I don't want to play with you. You're mean. I've heard of what you say to the other Legendaries. It's not nice. You don't play pranks. You hurt people on the inside which is a lot worse than on the inside, because you only need one surgery, but it's a life time of therapy!"

"Mmm, therapy. You'd have to dress up like a human for that. Doesn't having all that psychic energy around you feel weird."

"No."

"Oh, duh!" She snorted and began to laugh, a heavy, belly laugh that she needed to haul her heavy, water logged self out of the water so she wouldn't drown. She rolled on the grass drying in the sun with her paws in the air. "Mew, you're pretty cool. You're not as cool as I am, but you're pretty awesome. I need to hang out with you more often. You make me laugh all the time. Though, sometimes, I don't think I'm supposed to be laughing. You ever have one of those times?"

He zoomed over to her, pouting. "No, because _I _have a heart, unlike you. I know when things are funny and when they're plain jerkish. With you, they're _always _jerkish."

Raikou leaned up with a smile and caught Mew's tail gently between her teeth, yanking him down and pinning him down with a mighty paw. As there was no water around, Mew pouted and let it go, happy that she wasn't trying to toss him in the water for now, and on red alert in case she tried. She was wet, and he wasn't a fan of that, but the grass was nice and so was the sun. It was a nice day, he supposed.

"You _are _afraid of water, kitty."

"You're afraid of vacuums," he shot back.

She pressed with the paw that pinned him with heavy irritation. "Why are you afraid of water?"

"Dunno," he shrugged. "I'm not _afraid_, really. I'm just not a fan. It's all icky and wet and it hurts people, just like you, remember?"

She smiled proudly and removed her paw, nuzzling him instead. "That's a lie too! You can't hate it for those reasons. I'm icky and I'm wet and I hurt people on the inside and outside, but you like me lots. You like me so much that you even came out to a lake to hang out with me. It's not pity either, because you know that I don't care that none of the other Legendaries like me because I'm loud and rude and burp in people's faces."

"I guess," he said slowly. Then, he teleported just above her and waved his tail above her head. "Catch me if you can!"

She dove into the water, and Mew zoomed around up top, tempting her with his gorgeous tail, but still very careful to keep from getting wet. He still hated water, hated it with a burning passion, but he could tolerate it for her sake.


End file.
